Retro 247 Blog

Well we've had fun and games for the last day or so with the main Retro 247 Games site being down. Everythings back to normal now and we've moved over to our new server.

Don't forget that you've still got time to enter the Retro 247 Competition and win some fantastic prizes. Go HERE for the details.

I am Jesus is a new game released by suicidal-entertainment.com
From the developers website it says

"I am Jesus is a free socialcritic action game about jesus and the 12 disciples.I am Jesus is also the first game which will wash away your real life sins."

The game never washed away my sins but it was bloody good fun! Throw spears at your disciples who are on the other side of a rock called "God's Cock"! Yep, you heard me right and here's a picture of God's cock, incase you were wondering.

We definately need more games like this!
Also, check out the Trailer and the How to Play Video

Labels: action, games, gods cock, i am jesus, jesus

Retro 247 Games are pleased to announce their first big competition with fantastic prizes from a number of different companies.

All you have to do is to correctly identify the 25 different games that appear in the screenshot. Out of the correct entries one winner will be drawn at random along with two runners up.

The prizes up for grabs include:

1. A full version of MMF 2 Developer from ClickTeam (www.clickteam.com)
2. Signed CD version of Mr. Robot from Moonpod (www.moonpod.com)

3. A Mr. Robot mouse pad

4. Signed CD version of Repton 3 by Superior Interactive (www.superiorinteractive.com)

5. Full download version of Gibbage by gibbage.co.uk (www.gibbage.co.uk)
6. Full download version of Scavenger by pieyegames.com (www.pieyegames.com)

7. Full download version of Addictive Football by Addictive 247 Games (www.addictive247.co.uk)


More details about the competition and the entry form can be found at http://www.retro247.co.uk/competitionmay2007.htm
Closing date is Wednesday 13th June 2007.

Good Luck!

Labels: addictive 247 games, clickteam, competition, gibbage, moonpod, pieye games, retro 247 games, Superior interactive

The latest edition of the Arsecast has just been released, and as always is a funny, interesting and very British podcast.

Unfortunately, this will be the last Arsecast in its current form, so we'll have to wait and see what happens to the show in the future.

Give your ears a treat and listen now

Labels: arsecast, games, indie games, podcast, retro games, retro gaming

This is an imaginative reworking of the tried and tested Breakout formula, with added bells, whistles and well…Schlongg, I guess.

As is probably well familiar to anybody aged over 20 or so, the idea of play is to use a “bat” (positioned at the bottom of the screen and moveable only left and right) in order to strike a flying “ball” at a number of targets positioned at and around the very top of the screen.

Though attempts are made to account for these classic gameplay features behind an “aliens invading Earth” storyline (which may or not be entirely tongue-in-cheek when taking into consideration the titular name of these invading “Schlonggs”) the underlying concept is really no different to Breakout whatsoever.

However, never has a bat and ball game been so technically advanced as Notsoft’s effort (Notsoft. Schlongg. Veeery funny). The 3D graphics - complete with alterable “pilot’s view” camera - are of respectable quality and very colourful, and not since the equally inappropriately named Game Gear title Woody Pop (what is it with these people?) have powerups been so varied and genuinely effective upon the play environment; your bat, or spaceship, or whatever on earth it actually is, will be shrunk, grown, stretched, sped up and slowed, as will the ball. There’s a multi ball powerup which can cause up to five balls to be caroming around the screen at one time, and you can even be supplied temporarily with guns, blasting the target bricks rather than relying on the ball to do it.

With a choice of control methods including the mouse, the ship will begin, with minimal practice, to respond fairly well to all these changes, with most deaths being almost entirely due to player error.


So far so good, but with over 160 levels, doesn’t this concept become a bit tired quite fast? Sort of. Help is, however, at hand with between level bonus stage-type levels, when the camera switches to chase mode and your ship/bat begins to accelerate frightfully fast along a twisting, turning tubular passageway. These sections play in an extremely similar fashion to a cross between Sonic 2 bonus stages and Wipeout, necessitating a dizzying journey through and around the sides of the tunnel collecting as many powerups as possible before the next stage. The only problem here is the myriad differently styled objects to collect at high speeds, which being so varied in their design, and generally unrecognisable, seem far more sensible to avoid than to collect, as half the time you’ll find yourself collecting the wrong green spikey thing and being stripped of all the powers you’ve gained. Still, the speed tube is a welcome diversion from the often stayed procedure in the main game, and looks pretty darn cool to boot.

So in conclusion, what exactly do we have here? If you’re a fan of Breakout, you’ll honestly be in hog’s heaven with this game. Masses of levels, some challenging boss encounters, inventive and graphically pleasing presentation and there’s even a level editor (which, if it catches on, could spawn a potentially unlimited amount of fan-made “episodes”) – this should satisfy any and all bat and ball desires for some time to come. However, if you’re not particularly into this type of game, there’s really not an awful lot to keep you coming back. While fun for a bit, tackling so many samey levels with a largely unbroken concept won’t be everybody’s cup of tea. Try the demo before you buy.

Finally, not wishing to be a killjoy but, at the end of the day how many people may be put off purchase by the prospect of a shortcut named Schlongg on their desktop for all to see? I’ve had some funny looks already…

Score - 5/10

More info, screenshots and the demo at http://www.shlongg.com/info/index.htm

Copyright © 2006 Peter Michael Gothard

Labels: arcade game, bat and ball, breakout, notsoft, schlongg

Here's a bit of a breakdown of what's been added to the main Retro 247 Games website over the last week:

Bomb It - Bomberman clone playable in your browser. Cute and addictive with some cool music. Actually the music sounds familiar - is it from another game? Answers on a postcard!

Titan Attacks - Frantic shooter with a gorgeous retro graphics style. It's Space Invaders but with power-ups. Don't let that put you off though. I guarantee you'll be hooked after a few minutes. For Windows.

Mr. Robot - Isometric action puzzle game with elements of a RPG. Very slick presentation with excellent game play. For Windows.

Labels: bomb it, bomberman, mr robot, titan attacks

This has probably been on the Internet for years but it's the first time I've seen it, so it's worth posting.



Nicely done animation with a bit of a different slant on Mario.
Watch the full screen, good quality version HERE

Labels: mario, peoples mario, super mario

Obviously I'm going straight to hell for posting this one but it's such a great idea. Bible Fight is like Street Fighter but you get the chance to play as characters like Noah, Mary, Satan and even Jesus himself. The locations are cool aswell, with fights taking place on Noah's Ark, Heaven and even the Garden of Eden.

Each character has a number of special moves (click the small "C" in the bottom right of the screen to bring them up) which they can execute. Noah can call his animals to stampede, Eve whips you with a snake (kinky!) and Jesus can give you a battering with his cross.

Fantastic stuff - Play it Online Now

Labels: bible fight, jesus, online game, street fighter